Best advice On Making A Long Distance Relationship Work

It's truly hard to make a distance relationship work. No one's ever said that long distance relationships are easy, but the distance doesn't have to ruin your relationship either. With the right commitment and communication, long distance relationships can actually be more stable than geographically close relationships.

I and my boyfriend, we live in different countries. We meet each other 2-3 times a year. We talk on the phone 3-4 times a week, we do video call 1-2 times a week. We try to keep contact and improve our relationship as much as we can. We're always have conflicts and argument. Sometime, it's hard to understand each other. We need to humble ourselves and respect our partner.

Lots of people are in relationships that don’t make them truly happy. They love their partner and they don’t want to be with anyone else, but for some reason their relationship is filled with arguments and resentment.

It hurt when you miss someone so much, but you cannot meet him/her asap. You have to wait till next trip. You have to set your schedule for visiting him/her. Long distance relationship is hard, but it worth to flight for. Worth to waiting for your couple. Worth to fight together. And worth to build your strength relationship.

1. Stay in contact.

Since you won't be seeing each other in person, it's important to establish and maintain an emotional connection as often as you can. These don't always have to be long, in-depth conversations. Frequent communication, no matter how minor, will show that you care enough to put in the time and effort into the relationship and it’s easier to keep up to date with each other’s lives.If you allow large (days at a time) gaps to pass by, your everyday experiences fade into the background, and you will have to start from scratch every time you speak.

2. Avoid excessive communication.

It is unwise to be overly "sticky" and possessive. You two don't really have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples thought that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more. This is not true. And it might only make things worse. Soon you would get tired of "loving." Remember: Less is more. It is not about spamming — you are only going to exhaust yourselves. It's really about teasing at the right moments and tugging at the right spots.

3. See it as a opportunity.

"If you want to live together, you first need to learn how to live apart." – AnonymousView it as a learning journey for the both of you. See it as a test of your love for each other. As the Chinese saying goes, "Real gold is not afraid of the test of fire." Instead of thinking that this long distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger.

4. Set some ground rules to manage your expectations.

Both of you need to be clear with what you expect of with each other during this long distance relationship. Set some ground rules so that none of you will do things that will take the other party by surprise. For instance, are you two exclusive? Is it alright for the other person to go on dates? What is your commitment level? It's better to be open with each other about all these things.

5. Avoid "dangerous" situations.

If you already know that going to the club or going drinking with your group of friends late at night will displease your partner, then you should either 1. Not do it or 2. Tell your partner beforehand so as to reassure him/her. Don't be careless about this sort of matter because your partner is only going to be extra worried or extra suspicious, and of course, very upset, because you are putting him/her in a position where he/she feels extra powerless/lacking in control.

6. Do things together.

Recommend books, TV shows, movies, music, news and etc. to each other. When you read, watch and listen to the same things, you get to have more topics in common to talk about. This is a good to create some shared experiences even though you are living apart.

7. Make visits to each other.

Visits are the highlight of every long distance relationship. After all the waiting and yearning and abstinence, you finally get to meet each other to fulfill all the little things like kissing, holding hands, etc. which are all common to other couples but so very special and extra intimate for people in long distance relationships. It will be like fireworks, glitter bombs, confetti, rainbows and butterflies everywhere.

8. Have a goal in mind.

"What do we want to achieve at the end of the day?" "How long are we going to be apart?" "What about the future?" These are the questions you two need to ask yourselves. The truth is, no couple can be in a long distance relationship for forever. Eventually we all need to settle down.

So make a plan with each other. Do up a timeline, marking down the estimated times apart and times together, and draw an end goal. It is important that you two are on the same page and have the same goals. So that even if you are not living in the same space and the same timezone, both of you are still working together in the same direction towards a future that includes one another.

9. Stay honest with each other.

Talk about your feelings of fear, insecurity, jealousy, apathy, whatsoever. If you try to hide anything from your partner, that secret will sooner or later swallow you up from inside out. Don't try to deal with things all by yourself. Be open and honest with each other. Let your partner help you and give you the support you need. it's better to look at the problem during its initial stage than to only disclose it when it's all too late.

10. Keep track of each other's social media activities.

Like each other's photos on Facebook and Instagram. Tweet each other. Tag each other. Share things on each other's walls. Show that you care. Be cool about stalking each other.

11. Remember that your partner is human.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder, but can also make you idealize your partner. While this can make your relationship stable, extreme idealization (thinking your partner is perfect) will make it more difficult to reunite with the actual person

12. Support each other, even over the distance.

Be there for your partner if your partner is ever in trouble, hurt, or for whatever reason. You need to make yourself available to help so your partner knows you care. If your partner ends up dealing with important issues alone, your partner will eventually not need you. Interdependence refers to the willingness to act against your own self-interest for the benefit of you partner or for your relationship. Instead, supporting each other creates an interdependence that is crucial for a long distance relationship.

Don't forget to make each other feel special. Try to do little things that let the other person know that you care. You may write love letters and send them in the mail. Or, send small gifts, cards, or flowers for no reason. It's easier than ever to find ways to send almost anything to your partner.

Cr. Kanith

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